Happy Belated, StareyedinLA

Alice scoffed at the TV. By my unofficial count, that was the 322nd time she’d made any sort of remark since the Project Runway marathon had begun. And although my account was unofficial, I knew that it was right on.

“Eugh! You just can’t combine animal prints like that! Why don’t you say anything, Tim?” Tim. That was the 108th time she’d referenced him.

I sighed. Alice got all the fun. She wouldn’t even let me play the piano! How could I, with all of my 6 feet 2 inch stature, be controlled by a younger girl who was a foot shorter?

Oh, well. I was the mature one. I could wait this storm out. Frustrated, I hit play on my iPod and let Bach drown away my irritation. Or try to, at least.

Although I was normally very good at bottling up my emotions, my brothers were not as skilled. Jasper had an elaborate chess game set up in the corner that he played by himself while simultaneously going through some old psychology books; he was obviously bored. Emmett, on the other hand….

Well, Emmett was being Emmett.

He was plotting. It was a fairly well established fact in this house that Emmett’s attention span wasn’t the greatest, and his favorite source of entertainment, when Rosalie wasn’t around, was the TV. Especially during monster truck week. Which happened to be this week. The same week as Project Runway.

He needed his trucks, and he was going to get Jasper and I to help him.

“Give it up already,” I groaned to him, ignoring my music already. Emmett was lying on the floor, his back to the ceiling and his eyes set on the back of Alice’s head.

“That’ll never work!” Alice’s sang in a high-pitched voice as she watched Emmett’s incredibly flawed plan unfold in front of her eyes.

“Damn,” he murmured with less discouragement in his voice than I’d hoped. “Why do you get to hog the TV all day, Alice?” he whined.

“Because Esme and Carlisle put me in charge. They obviously can’t trust you to look after their antiques,” she sniffed. This was true. The last time they went out on a trip, Emmett and I had broken one of Esme’s expensive and one-of-a-kind Tiffany lamps. For a woman of such a calm disposition, Esme could really yell when she wanted. I shuddered at the memory. Angry Esme was scary.

Of course, after that fiasco, they would never again trust the house in our care. It was always Alice or Rosalie who was placed in command, and as Rosalie had decided to take the day off to go hunting, Alice was our babysitter until they came home.

Emmett grunted, not satisfied. “Don’t you have all these episodes memorized?”

Alice silenced him with a backhanded flick of her wrist. “Shh. Commercials are over.”

Jasper murmured from the corner, “Emmett, just give up. It’s nearly impossible to distract her once she’s hooked onto something.”

He sent memories to me: images of him coaxing her with credit cards, begging her on his knees, pleading her with promises of--

“Jasper!” I hissed. “Please!”

He chuckled, but let the memories drop.

Emmett huffed, still frustrated. “Couldn’t you just give me an hour, Alice? One simple little hour with my trucks? I won’t bother you for the rest of the day. I promise.”

Alice deliberated. “Fine,” she agreed reluctantly, getting up from the couch and nearly stomping to Jasper’s corner. Emmett beamed at her and threw himself over onto the couch; the TV flipped immediately to his preferred station.

Jasper stood and took Alice’s arm. She glared at me. “I’m warning you, Edward. If anything is broken--”

“Esme will have your head, I know.” I waved them off. “Have fun.”

With a huff, Alice pulled Jasper out of the room and toward the garage. I could see a day of shopping planning out in her head--how Jasper ever put up with that, I’d never know. It took only a minute after they left the room to hear the roar of my Volvo leave the driveway and exit onto the road. Emmett waited until they were absolutely gone to move. Finally, he sighed happily.

“Alice needs to learn how to share. And how to appreciate monster trucks,” he said over the boom of the TV. I nodded, not really paying attention, as I stood to make my way over to my piano. A specific piece had been playing itself over in my mind, and I was itching to play it.

Because of this distraction, I wasn’t listening to Emmett’s thoughts, and I definitely wasn’t listening to his diabolical plot to destroy Alice’s Project Runway marathon. A little part of me wondered if I would’ve stopped his plot before it had taken over.

Most of me says I wouldn’t have.

~~~~

I was still playing the piano when my Volvo pulled furiously back into the carport; the driver side door slammed shut, and I winced, both at the yell in my ears and the yell in my head.

“EDWARD! EMMETT! WHAT DID YOU DO?” Alice was enraged--and even that wasn’t a strong enough description for her rage. I could hear Jasper cringe away from his wife, overcome by the passion of her emotion. Even his influence  could not stop her.

Alice stormed inside, and for a panicked moment I thought she was going to break the door. She blew past me, heading straight to Emmett; my morbid curiosity could not let this moment go, so I followed her.

“Emmett,” she hissed through her teeth, pointing to the TV as she bore holes into the back of his head. “Put back my Project Runway. Now.”

I wasn’t quite sure how he’d done it, but Emmett had managed to set every TV in the house to only the station with his trucks, all on the loudest volume possible. We were now surrounded by the noise and destruction of his trucks with no escape. Although it was very annoying, I had to admit: it was bloody brilliant.

Emmett simply smirked at her rage and shifted a bit more towards the TV. Alice stomped over to him, blocking his view. She stood with her fists on her hips, and leaned toward him, her eyes still boring into his. I was surprised when he met her eyes with the same intensity.

“Yes?” he asked innocently.

“Don’t you put on that act, Emmett McCarty. I told you that you could watch your trucks until I got home--very graciously, I might add--and look at what you do! You make it so that I can’t watch my show. That is completely out of line.”

“I didn’t break anything,” he countered smoothly, and Alice groaned.

“If you put it back right now, I will act like this never happened.”

“What are you so worked up about?” he scrutinized, leaning towards her now. “You’ve seen all the episodes; you know who wins. They’re even online if you want to watch them. What’s the big deal?”

“What about yours, Emmett? It’s just big cars running over smaller cars,” she scoffed. “What in the world is so enchanting about that?”

They glared at each other for a few moments, daring the other to glance away first.

“Won’t you compromise, Alice?” Emmett murmured in a smooth, persuasive voice. “You watched Project Runway for five hours today, sometimes forcing me to watch it. Now you give me five hours to watch my trucks and make you watch it. How’s that?”

I could hear Alice’s defense wavering a second or two before her face displayed it. She caved after only a moment. “Fine,” she said grudgingly. “I suppose that’s fair.”

Emmett beamed and patted the seat next to him. “Sit!”

Reluctantly, she sat, and I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. And neither could Jasper, apparently; he’d come inside when Alice and Emmett were holding their staring contest, and he stood in a surprised stupor beside me.

“Should I get my camera?” he murmured as we watched, and I stifled a chuckle.

~~~~

I couldn’t believe it when Alice sat through Emmett’s required two hours. I couldn’t believe it when she stayed for an extra three. And I was very dumbfounded when Carlisle and Esme came home that evening, only to see Alice and Emmett cheering for their favorite driver together, four hours after Emmett’s original five.

“Is she--” Carlisle began, gesturing to the two. I nodded.

“Really?” Esme stressed doubtfully. I grinned and nodded again.

“Since 2 this afternoon.”

“But it’s nearly eleven!” Esme exclaimed.

“I can’t believe it, either. Alice’s been hooked since Emmett forced her to watch.”

Carlisle scratched his chin. “Do you think we’ll be able to get Rosalie to read next?”

And to that I could not help but laugh.