Dr Who: A Victim of Your Love

"You shouldn't do that, y'know."

No. That wasn't possible. That voice should not be inside the TARDIS. It wasn't possible. My eyes shot open.

She was right there, calm as everything, standing with her back to the console. Everything just as it should be—but with her right there. She had her hand out to me, gesturing.

"It hurts your back too much. Sit up."

I did as she said, wincing when by back cracked as it lifted from the TARDIS floor. She was crouching down to my level now, a slightly puzzled and sad look on her face. Her hair, her clothes, her eyes, her perfume—just as they were before, eons and eons ago.

"You changed your face." She wanted to reach out and touch it, I could tell, stroke my new, unfamiliar cheek.

"I died," I responded simply. How was I so calm with her here, so together? Her face flickered a little, revealing a dash of extra sadness.

"How?"

"Long story."

"Even your voice is changed." She came a little closer, wanting so badly to touch me. I was glad she didn't. It would ruin the effect of her being here.

"Don't you remember the last time? When I changed? Every single atom."

She was coming close to tears now, I could feel it.

"Are you still in there? I don't know you anymore."

"I'm still me." I wanted to say her name, but it would spoil it. We were so intimate in that moment—any mention at unsaid things, any touch—it would've destroyed that odd connection. I could not say her name. I could not hold her hand. Neither could she.

"I'm still me," I repeated. "Just a different face, that's all."

"But I don't know you," she stressed again, not forcibly.

"'Course you do!" I was surprised to find my own eyes going wet. "You've met me twice—that's more than most."

She smiled a little.

"I still love you."

And the moment was broken—the TARDIS began to shake; her hair grew and was darkened into a rich red; her voice fell just a bit deeper and an accent weaved into her words.

Amy Pond was kneeling right over me, a hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake as she called "Doctor" curiously. I bolted upright at the sight of her wide brown eyes, and she started at my movement.

"Where's Rory?" I asked and jumped to my feet, heading to the console.

"'Round the hall," came the reply. I could feel her eyes on me. "What were you dreaming about?"

"What, me? Dreaming? That's ridiculous. Silly. Why would I do a thing like that?" The words were out of my mouth just as I thought of them, my fingers playing around with the various buttons on the consol board.

"You kept saying Rose." Her voice was softer as she came to my side. "Who's that?"

It seemed like everything stopped. Time, the TARDIS, my breathing, my hearts, everything. Rose. I had never mentioned her to Amy. I hadn't thought of her for a long time.

I looked to the girl at my side and her curious expression.

"Nope. Sorry. Doesn't ring a bell. Must be something I made up." My eyes went back to the controllers.

I had put Rose behind me—she belonged with the old me, the dead me. That was then and this was
now. I had to keep moving forward.